2024 Power Rankings – Week 4

  1. Grimace Deez Nuts (4-0; Greg Flohs): Greg’s team just continues their dominance of the BFL by beating down Craig and jumping to a 4-0 record. Malik Nabers might be the steal of the draft in the second round. What a gutsy call to trust a rookie, and a Giants rookie at that. Sometimes, it pays to be a “homer”. Now Greg, you’re facing Josh this week, just be normal.   

2. Lambeau Leapin’ Lambs (3-1; Evan Clayton): If you had asked the league why I would lose to Evan in week 4, I’m sure there would have been lots of comments about the order in which our first round picks occurred, but that was not the problem – IT WAS GOD DAMN DERRICK HENRY JUST RUNNING THROUGH NFL TEAMS. Anyways, Evan and his crew dropped 165 in week 4 and needed just about every bit of it to overcome Pat’s admirable performance.  

3. The Bonkers (2-2; Anthony DiMinno): For a team that is missing both Kupp and CMC, Ant’s team is doing alright. Even with a loss this week, this group put up a nice 112pts and was in striking distance of becoming 3-1. I think there’s a lot to look forward with this group once they get to 100%.  

4. Gettleman’s Hog Mollies (3-1; Jimmy Campbell): Jimmy had an empty-net, a layup, just an easy win on deck; Josh cannot score more than 90pts this season if his life depended on it. And what does Jimmy do? Score 63 and let Josh have the luckiest 2-2 record I think the league has ever seen. Only up from this one, Jimmy.

5. Team Maxson (2-2; Johnathan Maxson): Once again, John had a win all but locked up going into MNF, and what happens? Kenneth Walker drops 33 – that’s what happens. If things went slightly different, John could be 4-0 right now. Truly a game of inches and decimals in this league. But don’t worry, John, you’re playing Pat this week.

6. The Nightman Cometh (2-2; Craig Stalowski): Craig’s team came back down to earth in week 4 against the undefeated Grimace. Craig’s team does have some bite in them, but they just need to find that consistency in order to stack more wins. Hopefully, he is not “eaten” again, and does more “eating”.

7. Phoenixville Horn Dogs (2-2; John Williams): Daniels. Johnson and Pollard did the lions’ share of work for John as he glides to a decent week 4 and his second win of the season. Thankfully, not too much was needed against lowly Steve. Lots to look forward with Adams and Hockenson coming back to the fold in the coming weeks. Edit: He traded Adams, make that Nacua instead.

8. Milk Milk Lemonade (2-2; Sean Washington): Mike Gesicki really tried to have you lose two weeks in a row, but the rest of your team was not having it, huh? It’s good to get to that 2-2 record by week 4, it can set a good tone for the rest of your season. Now time for a crucial week 5 against Craig.

9. Sparta Waffle Eaters (2-2; Josh Tucci): Josh continues his streak of sub-86pt performances and has NOW STRUNG TOGETHER A WINNING STREAK. Is this the second coming? Has Josh been touched by the Lord himself? What sorcery is happening here? Go buy a lotto ticket, Josh, ‘cause clearly you have luck a lot of us don’t.

10. IHOP for Touchdowns (1-3; Pat Masur): MY TEAM KEEPS PLAYING WELL AND THEY KEEP LOSING. HOW AM I ONLY ONE WIN AHEAD OF LAST PLACE. HOW DOES JOSH HAVE TWO WINS? HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING.

11. K9 Dawg Pound (1-3; Nick Calabrase): Nick received a gift of a win from his lord and savior, Kennther Walker III, as he dropped 33pts on MNF. Kneel before your savior, Nick! This may save you from a lot of lemons later on in the year.

12. Fantasy Football Team (0-4; Steve Katz): Steve continues his tumble down this list with his worst performance of the season. Things are not getting easier in week 5 as seemingly half of Steve’s team is on BYE, and Rashee Rice is out for the foreseeable future. Pray you get a surprise this week, Steve.