- Lambeau Leapin’ Lambs (1-0; Evan Clayton): So this writer was correct on a couple of concerns from Evan’s roster, but the things that were incorrect? Yeesh. Barkley drops 33, Diggs drops 22, and Evan’s team collectively opened week 1 with a monster 156pts. What a hot start out of the gate for this group!
2. The Bonkers (1-0; Anthony DiMinno): CMC who? CMC WHO?! It doesn’t matter cause Jordan Mason took an already guaranteed victory to the next echelon. This could be a blessing in disguise to have a serviceable RB incase CMC can’t suit up on given weeks. Pair that with the rest of his team out of the gate, this team could be dangerous. Let’s see if they make it two-in-a-row.
Pictured: Mason telling Ant who the hell he is:
3. Gettleman’s Hog Mollies (1-0; Jimmy Campbell): Typically, all of the division leaders default to the top-3 spots in rankings, but because the Brees division stunk it up so bad, I’m making an exception to the rule – but I digress. Jimmy was carried to victory by performances from Allen, Hall, Waddle, and an outstanding rookie performance from the speedy Xavier Worthy. If Worthy becomes a new Tyreek this year in KC, watch out.
4. Team Maxson (1-0; Johnathan Maxson): After Johnathan’s league-worst post-draft grade, his team decided to tell this writer to “shove-it” with a decisive week 1 win. However, a couple things to be concerned about, Marvin Harrison Jr had a quiet first outing, and Addison left his game with an injury. Nevertheless, congrats on proving the haters (me) wrong.
5. Grimace Deez Nuts (1-0; Greg Flohs): Okay, now it’s time for the Brees Division; which more played like the JV division in week 1. There are a couple of highlights from Greg’s week 1 win though – Deebo, Jones and Robinson did enough to help the team squeak by Craig. I think there is some good potential for a stronger week 2 from this team.
6. IHOP for Touchdowns (1-0; Pat Masur): Our perennial loser has found himself in the win-column in week 1. I think Pat (me) would agree that this is the reason why we keep D/ST on the roster; they are important and can save you. While Dallas saved this team, it was a stinker of a week 1, and there is a lot potential to come back in week 2.
7. Cheetah Kings (0-1; Nick Calabrase): Last years champ came out week 1 swinging with a nice performance; it’s just unfortunate that he ran into one of the couple of teams that did better than him. Lots to be positive about in this group and I think Pittman gets his looks in subsequent weeks. Chin-up, Nick!
8. Fantasy Football Team (0-1; Steve Katz): It was not a great outing from Steve’s team, but even if it was great, there was good chance this team would have come away with an L anyways. Quiet weeks from London, Kirk and White kept this team down from a really good week 1. Steve hopes to bounce back in week 2 against Team Maxson.
9. Phoenixville Horn Dogs (0-1; John Williams): Jayden Daniels and Achane led the way for this team, and everyone else did not even get off the starting-blocks. Couple that with not being against one of the quiet teams in week 1, and John has opened 2024 with an L. John can pass this loser stink to Pat in week 2 – who is no stranger to that stench.
10. The Nightman Cometh (0-1; Craig Stalowski): Joe Burrow, Olave and DK being almost non-existent in week 1 did Craig dirty in week 1. It really is amazing how just a couple of starters underperforming can really separate you from a good week to a rather bad one. Good news though – it’s a long season and there’s plenty of time to jump up these rankings.
11. Milk Milk Lemonade (0-1; Sean Washington): Outside of Mike Evans, no one in this group hit any of their projections and a couple fell well short of them. This was good news for Pat, but rather bad for Sean. If it’s any consolation, you would have lost to just about anyone, so shake this off and move on to week 2. By the way – love the name – not foreshadowing or anything right?
12. Sparta Waffle Eaters (0-1; Josh Tucci): Not only did this team stink, but Puka and Jordan Love went down with injuries – and both with potential to miss several weeks. Couple that with none of Dell, LaPorta, Aiyuk or Cooper clearing 10pts, this is how you end up with the biggest lemon performance of week 1. The only way is up, Josh.
