2023 Week 13 Power Rankings

I’m gonna do a little something different this week – yes, it will be sort of a normal power rankings, but with everything up in the air from playoff spots to Waffle House (let me hope and dream), I’m going to predict who’s going to the playoffs, who’s not going, and who’s going to Waffle House.

  1. CalaBreece Lightning (10-3; Nick Calabrese): Yeah, Nick lost his third game of the season, but there’s really nothing to worry about in week 14. He’s locked up the first seed AND the President’s Trophy. In all honesty, Nick could just not even set his lineup this weekend and it would make no difference. But what’s the fun in that?

    Prediction: 1st seed locked

2. Phoenixville Horn Dogs (8-5; John Williams): Like Nick above him, our commissioner is in the lovely spot of a clinched playoff spot. Now unlike Nick, his seed is not locked so there are consequences to his actions if he loses this week. While his matchup is advantageous, Pat’s team is desperate and MUST win. I think this week 14 is going to be a lot closer than the experts think, and Pat gets his much-needed win. Come on, this wouldn’t be as fun to read if I just laid down and died, would it?

Prediction: 4th Seed (Probably 2nd)

3. Sparta Waffle Eaters (7-6; Josh Tucci): Josh’s team has looked incredible as of late – with ~150pts in 3 of his last 4 matchups and now he is in a divisional championship matchup against Greg. Whoever wins, wins the Manning Division. My prediction is Josh’s incredible run as of late falters this week and he falls to Greg. I think he still makes the postseason, but not with a division title under his belt.

Prediction: 5th seed

4. Ja’Marrvelous TDs (7-6; Evan Clayton): Here’s where things start to get interesting: if Evan beats Craig, and Pat beats John, Evan should lock the 2nd seed – as long as Josh doesn’t win and outscore Evan by about 40. Now if Evan loses, with his PF, there’s no way he doesn’t make it into the playoffs. I think Evan sneakily locks up the 2nd seed.

Prediction: 2nd Seed

5. Return of the Revved Up Gator (7-6; Greg Flohs): Now that we’ve all read my prediction with Josh; three guesses to what my prediction will be for Greg? What an up-and-down regular season for Greg. Just elation, stress and then more elation. A division title is on the horizon, Greg, don’t screw it up.

Prediction: 3rd seed

6. Fantasy Football Team (7-6; Steve Katz): There’s no reason for this, but I think Steve falls to Johnathan in week 14. Like I said, I have no justification, just a feeling. As long as Steve is not outscored by 40 against Johnathan, he should lock up at least the 6th seed heading into the postseason.

Prediction: 6th Seed

7. The Price is Wrong B***** (6-7; Craig Stalowski): Craig’s luck has finally started to turn around, but unfortunately, I think it will be a tease. He’s got a real tough matchup against Evan to close the regular season and I think it will be insurmountable. If he wins, he’s probably in the playoffs, but I think he falls short. Sorry Craig.

Prediction: Loser’s Bracket

8. The Bonkers (6-7; Anthony DiMinno): Ant has put himself in a position to get into the postseason and his final challenge is the best team in the league – yeesh. Unfortunately for Ant, I think this is where his season effectively ends. It’s been a solid year and the team did well, but I think a 6-8 record is in the cards.

Prediction: Loser’s bracket

9. Team Maxson (6-7; Johnathan Maxson): Johnathan has a stroke of scheduling luck heading into the final week of the season – the two 6-7 teams ahead of him have more difficult matchups that need to be overcome to have a shot at the postseason. While Steve’s team is no easy feat, I think Johnathan’s team squeaks out a final win and edge their way into the playoffs.

Prediction: 7th seed

10. Gettleman’s Hog Mollies (5-8; Jimmy Campbell): Alright, now we’re getting closer to the bottom of the barrel. Jimmy and Sean get to play each other this week for effectively nothing. The only thing either of these things need to focus on is the following: Don’t get outscored by Pat by like 100pts. That’s it – pure numbers game for both teams.

Prediction: Loser’s Bracket

11. Kirk Island (5-8; Sean Washington): See Jimmy’s ranking.

Prediction: Loser’s Bracket

12. Welcome to the Waffle House (4-9; Pat Masur): Well, here we are again. Bottom of the league, going into the final week of the season. For my own entertainment, I’m predicting a final win against John this week, but I think the PF tiebreaker will be my demise. Waffles are in my future. Good season, boys.

Predicted playoff seeding:

  1. Nick C
  2. Evan C
  3. Greg F
  4. John W
  5. Josh T
  6. Steve K
  7. John M

Predicted Losers’ bracket seeding:

  1. Craig S
  2. Ant D
  3. Jimmy C
  4. Sean W
  5. Pat M