2023 Week 7 Power Rankings

  1. CalaBreece Lightning (7-0; Nick Calabrese): Before I get into Nick’s week, this writer would just like to say: thank you for your service. Anyways, this past week was Nick’s worst week of the season with 106pts, but he would not be denied a W. To be honest, his team didn’t look that great outside of Kelce and Etienne – not that it mattered at all since he was playing Sean’s team. Undefeated through the first half of the season is a helluva accomplishment. Now it’s time to look to 8-straight against Ant.  

2. Phoenixville Horn Dogs (4-3; John Williams): John’s team was able to cobble together a decent performance with no problems given from Johnathan’s team’s lackluster effort. As our commissioner glides to his 4th win of the season, his squad looks poised to make a deep run after Thanksgiving – if they can stay healthy. A solid test approaches against Josh in week 8.

P.S. John has only beaten teams that put up 105 or less against him. Can he beat an actual good team?

3. Sparta Waffle Eaters (4-3; Josh Tucci): What a nail-biter for Josh in week 7 as he slips by with a margin of victory of less than 1 point. I’m sure as things were coming down to the wire, Josh was thoroughly cursing Bijan Robinson for not playing due to headaches. But never feat – the rest of your team carried the load and managed to get the dub.

4. Return of the Revved Up Gator (4-3; Greg Flohs): Greg’s team put up a rather nice performance with Jefferson hurt and Mixon on BYE. Unfortunately, Craig’s team was out for blood and finished off Greg “Street Fighter” style. Greg is now 1-2 without Jefferson, but if he can go .500 without Jefferson, I think this team can glide their way into the postseason.

5. Gettleman’s Hog Mollies (4-3; Jimmy Campbell): For probably the first time this season, Jimmy’s team did what they were projected to do so: about 110pts and a victory. No need to be the best team, and no need to be the worst. Just do what’s expected and win. Nice job Jimmy, now let’s look to make it two-in-a-row against Greg.

6. Fantasy Football Team (4-3; Steve Katz): As stated in last week’s ranking, with Pollard on BYE and Deebo nursing an injury, Steve’s team had a bit of a hill to climb in week 7 – even if it was against lowly Pat. Not only did this group lose and give Pat a victory, but their performance was lackluster to say the least. Now onto an interesting week 8 against Evan – whose team has not put up something solid since their 200pt performance.

7. Ja’Marrvelous TDs (3-4; Evan Clayton): The hangover from a 200pt performance is still in full swing for Evan’s team as they failed to crack even 100pts in week 7 that was coupled with a loss. I know Chase was on a BYE week, but still, damn what a fall from grace. Hopefully the bounce back is as hard as the fall has been.

8. The Bonkers (3-4; Anthony DiMinno): Man – when you put up 130pts and still lose – that stings. Top it off with a loss of less than 1pt, I think you’re justified to chuck your phone into the ocean. I know I would be Joker-fied if that happened to me. By the way, I’m sure you haven’t noticed this at all, but Ant, you would have won if you started Bourne over Doubs or Olave. Oh well, on to week 8.

9. Team Maxson (3-4; Johnathan Maxson): There is a beautiful simplicity with this team: when they play well, they win, when they play badly, they lose. You can gather how many times they’ve played well vs poorly this season by the looks of Johnathan’s record. Most recently, they STUNK. Now if there were a week where a poor performance could lead to a victory, it would be against Sean’s team in week 8. Sean’s best hopes that Johnathan’s team comes up with a stinker two weeks in a row.

10. The Price is Wrong B***** (3-4; Craig Stalowski): With Pat winning and Sean losing, Craig thought it would be wise to get his 3rd win of the season in week 7. Lamar Jackson putting up a monster performance and picking up Foreman for $3 secured Craig a monster win against Greg. Craig: You need to send Nick an edible arrangement for dropping Foreman and potentially saving you from the Waffle House. Good job Nick, you’re undefeated despite your moronic transactions (love you).

11. Welcome to the Waffle House (2-5; Pat Masur): I would like to thank all the religious deities for blessing me with a win in week 7. But my blessings were not without anxiety as Detroit realized they were the Lions and put up NEGATIVE SEVEN POINTS against Baltimore. It’s safe to say my wide receiver core bailed me out along with Steve’s team underperforming. Now onto Craig for back-to-back division matchups.

12. Kirk Island (1-6; Sean Washington): A miracle did not come for Sean, and to put some more salt in the wound – Pat won his game. Sean now stands alone in the basement at 1-6. There is some hope as his next matchup is against Johnathan; whose team can be boom-or-bust. If Johnathan’s team busts, Sean could sneak a win out and try to start crawling out of the basement. But in theme with Sean’s season, Brock Purdy has a concussion and Fields is not slated to return. Ouch.